The Gang Verses Suffer & Pain

Sunday, Dec. 28, 2008


Sometimes I forget I'm a cripple and stand up without being too careful, not using the nearby assistances to help me along the way. Oh my right leg, reminds me of the excruciating pain I feel when that happens! Sometimes when holding myself up with some type of support, I forget again that I'm a cripple and start to begin to walk. Well, again, my right leg continues to remind me to stay behind and find the nearest reliever. Sometimes I try to stand for a while on my left (good) leg to give Butt a break. And sometimes I try for a new position with Bed, in order to help Butt out as well. Butt, I'm not finding Change, at least in the bedroom, with Bed. Oh I try to find Change!! Butt, what I find, is just another agonizing painful position that I just can't bare to bed with. And once I'm in that often, painful position, I then have to figure out how to maneuver myself, slowly and carefully, from the hurting position, and place myself into the familiar non-hurting position, like Butt’s usual position in bed, with Bed. I try. Looking for Change isn't easy. I'm sure Butt is tired of holding up the Fort. (heehee) I'm always searching for some Change, any Change with Bed. Missionary is kinda boring when used as often as I use it.

I haven't found Change yet, I'm still looking, still searching for Change....lay on side, nope. Lay on other side, nope. Flip into the air and land on stomach like a=2 0pancake, nope. This latest attempt to find Change came about when I left temp toilet (TT) behind. Mentioned earlier in The Smell email, TT resides by Bed, my main squeeze. I was getting up from TT to sleep with Bed. (TT is used only when my body desires a quickie.) Searching for Change, I slowly moved forward, bending my upper body down to waist level, gripping onto TT's arms and leaning my legs forward with my knees slightly bent upon top of Bed's cushion. Slowly I moved my arms from TT and they crawled forward onto Bed’s matressed body and braced my body up against his Queen Size. My elbows pinned Bed down, and I was also able to hold Butt up in the air, like I was getting ready for a new exciting position. Doggy-style, here I come! Nope, can't do that one either! Can't do it without Pain & Suffer hanging out and watchin‘. Now, theirs a couple I can definitely do without!

The upper arms are getting stronger though, with lifting the body up and all, using the wheelchair or TT arms, a nearby wall or Bart for support. The pelvic pain area continues on a daily basis, but I'm feeling like my body is healing, getting stronger and better each day. Pain, he’s just a process. Pain uses his wits wisely though. The cringe of the leg muscles arrive. “TIME TO TIGHTEN UP, CONTRACT, AND LOCK-UP!!! “ Pain yells loud and clear to Muscles, an innocent bystander. And the loud howling sounds of Me make their appearances before Pain, before He decide s to leave. However, BLOODY MURDER screams were only heard in the first 10 days or so.

Sometimes I seek Pain to surprise myself. Bring it on, Bitch! And sometimes I’m unpleasantly surprised with Pain's appearance that He decides to make, without Me seeking Him. And sometimes I avoid Pain's surprises all together when Muscles tell me that Pain’s a comin‘--which in fact, isn’t a surprise at all! I make the quickest detour I can to avoid Pain at all costs. I don't try to go down that rocky road with Pain or Suffer for that matter, at least not by myself, if I can avoid it. Damn YOU, Pain & Suffer! Damn you both! Hmmm, what time is it? Is it time to meet up with Meds?

So there I was in the doggy-style position, looking for new action...any, some, one more, a little different, give me variety, flavor, whatever!....Give me any other position other than Butt’s position! Butt’s tired! Butt strives for another position! We team up together all the time, searching all over for our new buddy, Change...ever since the accident. (Psst, I hear on the streets...of the Ghetto Farm, psst, come closer, I hear you don't like him at first, you know, Change, but once you get to know him, you'll get to like him. He'll come around again...shhh, that's the word on the street.)

Thanks to Pain, I was ready to meet up with Meds and move on and get back fast to my tired, boring, getting wider by the minute ass, routine, missionary-style positi on. Butt‘s position. I had to act quickly toward Pain, (quickly isn't so quickly in my new cripple world! It's very slow, deal with it.) and remove myself from that uncomfortable, doggy-style position to find relaxation in my same day, every day, all day, all night, each and every night, for 16 days and 16 nights straight, Butt’s position, my reliable & stable buddy, Butt.

Butt, I’ll get there soon.

deb