The Salad -- A Cracked Egg

"I'm always early!" the bubbly Egg cheered. The new manager arrived this week, replacing sliced Karrot. "I would just get stir crazy if I was 3 minutes late" she added. She arrived 1 hour before her shift began. I wanted to chime in with a laugh "I'm usually always on time, never early and sometimes late!" but I didn't. The eager Egg has to sit high on the wall. She would probably not appreciate my humor.

"Come on you guys, what's going on? You haven't made your numbers in quite a while. I'm a numbers person and I am use to getting results," she bellowed. I don't know who she thinks she's talking to, I use to count money for a hobby.

"My restaurant was in the top 5 in the company for the last 9 months" she bragged. The anxious Egg managed one of the restaurants in Philly. Well, lets look at the real numbers as to why her stats were so good. All 11 restaurants recently closed down in Philly in the last year. And then her business started booming. Hmm, I wonder why? Is it because her restaurant was the last one standing? No, I think it's because she's just awesome! What's interesting enough is why did all the restaurants close in that area? And then a few months later her restaurant closed for good. Was it lease problems in all 12 locations? I don't believe all 12 restaurants had the same lease problem. Just my statistical analysis point of view.

I guess the delusional Egg wasn't informed that our restaurant was in the top 3 in the country a couple of years ago, right after the famous Katrina rolled in. I wonder why our numbers were so great back then? We had the same people working for us as we do today. Was it because a lot of businesses were closed down and the few people in town were looking for somewhere to eat. Nah, I think it's because we're awesome!

We've been fighting those numbers ever since the busy days after Katrina. Not to mention that the sluggish economy has kept almost all businesses down, across the board, well except for her flourishing restaurant, that also closed. Go figure.

"I'm use to working from open to close" the little Egg declared, almost shocking us. But then we found out the little chipped Egg's restaurant was only open for lunch. Like the one I ran uptown, a few years ago. And further more, her restaurant dealt in smaller volume than my uptown location.

Our restaurant does 3.5 times the volume more than the one she ran in Philly. In volume and size. And the foot traffic, well it's massive compared to her previous Philly location.

I wonder why the cracked Egg was chosen? She's missing some yolk with her delusions of grandeur. But I'll give the little critter a chance to see if she can pull the numbers in. She's excited and motivated with her unrealistic fomulas. I'll wait until until she's fried to give further analysis.